Traffic Ideas
Friday, December 25th, 2009I must say you guys came up with some great responses for what to do in traffic. Just yesterday I was perfecting my Joe Cocker voice to one of his CD’s. I think I about have it down.Now studying street names in Michigan is quite boring. Detroit hasn’t been too creative in that department. After all we do have the mile roads “5 mile” “6 mile” and trust me on this…it goes on up.Kiegal exercises usually commence about 45-60 minutes into the drive when I have to pee from all these cups of coffee I’m sucking down as we speak.Now waiving and being friendly doesn’t work in Detroit. There are 2 rules to follow when looking at another person here:
1. It’s ok to stare at someone who is talking to the telephone pole or any other inanimate object. This happens alot and of course so we stare as a part of scientific research for “this is your brain on crack”.
2. It’s only ok to look at the other driver when yelling obsenities, then it’s only briefly, because you do have to study the traffic pattern to make a quick getaway. Usually it’s not a problem because no one is looking.
Any waiving or smiling will automatically get your name added in the scientific research paper or cause a traffic accident.
Now Greg, masturbation is definitely an option but would require a dress, but then you have the whole “might snag the pantyhose” issue. That starts getting a little deep for morning. Although sex must obviously be on my mind since I proposition so many drivers on my way to work in the morning. “Fuck you asshole” and “fuck you bitch” has not gotten me anywhere. Hmm..since I seem to be propositioning males and females I’m going to have to spend some time considering if I have some latent Bi tendencies.
Ohh..once again this is getting too deep. Time to shower.